commitment you say.. and i say..

as i have learned a little while ago.. commitment is doing something you said you would do even after the mood on which you said you would do it has past.. and with this i try not to dwell on the fact that you are everything except this.. the committed spirit you once said you will be..

it was you who introduced me to the half step just before we transcend to love.. and that was commitment.. you explained to me in detail how a relationship works best if two persons make a point to not disregard that half step.. but then we were never really on the same flat form when we nod our heads and half consciously agreed on something that we had totally different perceptions about..

but then i say to myself.. your own sense of commitment will lift us to a place we both had planned to be.. and my own definition of the word will sustain us.. knowing that in this instance of disparity we remain true to whatever we believe is best for us.

pushed to resign

26 hours of no sleep. i wait.. wait for you to finish all the things that you need to do. things that popped out of nowhere.. documents to send through courier.. store materials to deliver.. and property papers to be signed..

i try hard.. try hard not to burst.. i say to myself that somehow this is too much.. that i don't deserve this, but then i say to myself that the things i deserve will always be the things i choose for myself.. and somehow i choose you..

i try not to complain because i know.. what we have right now is more that what i initially bargained for..

but then you're pushing me.. pushing me to resign on that place that i was in.. being happily taken.. taken forgranted.