Callum David

The previous post was a mess, back-with-a-bang is not me at all. Maybe if you know me well you wouldn't wonder why.

Just had the weirdest thoughts a little while ago. As i was staring at San Isidro Labrador's image outside our barrio chapel, I started to think, would Callum david want to live a barn life? If ever he does i'd be most happy to open up my door (both our house and whatever door he wishes to enter) for him. One or a couple of times I'd live his life and i never really considered it a life. City lights, not at all my thing. If i was him i'd sell his spin gadgets and settle right where I am right now. In Entongalon with me.

Volcano

I needed to get back to blogging badly. I looked around my previous blog and I thought I'd simply resuscitate one of it back to life. So here it is.. my first posts.. for tonight? Don't hold yourself like that cause You'll hurt your knees well I kissed your mouth, and back But that's all I need Don't build your world around Volcanoes melt you down And What I am to you is not real What I am to you, you do not need What I am to you is not what you mean to me You give me miles and miles of mountains And I'll ask for the sea Don't throw yourself like that In front of me I kissed your mouth, your back Is that all you need? Don't drag my love around Volcanoes melt me down What I am to you is not real What I am to you, you do not need What I am to you is not what you mean to me You give me miles and miles of mountains And I'll ask What I give to you is just what I'm going through This is nothing new, no, no just another phase of finding what I really need is what makes me bleed But like a new disease, Lord, she's still too young to treat Volcanoes melt you down She's still too young +what iam to you+you do not need+is not real I kissed your mouth You do not need me

I'm a nutcase lately, my thoughts are juggling over my barely-breathing relationship and my almost off-the-cliff career. And for the n'th time this I had to initiate an intervention. This'll be it. *** note to self: this is just the first post and it barely says anything so do a lot more and try not to be cryptic and gibberish.

commitment you say.. and i say..

as i have learned a little while ago.. commitment is doing something you said you would do even after the mood on which you said you would do it has past.. and with this i try not to dwell on the fact that you are everything except this.. the committed spirit you once said you will be..

it was you who introduced me to the half step just before we transcend to love.. and that was commitment.. you explained to me in detail how a relationship works best if two persons make a point to not disregard that half step.. but then we were never really on the same flat form when we nod our heads and half consciously agreed on something that we had totally different perceptions about..

but then i say to myself.. your own sense of commitment will lift us to a place we both had planned to be.. and my own definition of the word will sustain us.. knowing that in this instance of disparity we remain true to whatever we believe is best for us.

pushed to resign

26 hours of no sleep. i wait.. wait for you to finish all the things that you need to do. things that popped out of nowhere.. documents to send through courier.. store materials to deliver.. and property papers to be signed..

i try hard.. try hard not to burst.. i say to myself that somehow this is too much.. that i don't deserve this, but then i say to myself that the things i deserve will always be the things i choose for myself.. and somehow i choose you..

i try not to complain because i know.. what we have right now is more that what i initially bargained for..

but then you're pushing me.. pushing me to resign on that place that i was in.. being happily taken.. taken forgranted.

plain and familiar

boring

running deep

time and time i get thoughts of how I played it and then i wanted to settle on a particular thought, that our story is an epic. a story of two heroes separated by distance but not by heart.

seasons

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